Moderator: Welcome to Ask Rodger Goodwyn

Greetings, and thank you for your interest in Ask Rodger Goodwyn. My name is Juan Suskind. As moderator of this experiment, my job is to ensure that your time here is as entertaining and enlightening as possible.

I use the word "experiment" not by accident. You see, my colleagues and I form the team that found and reanimated Rodger last year, and we will use the data cultivated from this advice blog as part of our doctoral dissertation in anthropology/physiology from the University of West Central Virginia. I won't bore you with the specific scientific information we hope to glean, but suffice it to say that we're all watching with great, and admittedly nervous, anticipation.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should share with you the fact that this experiment is not wholly scientfic in nature. Allow me to explain:

As you might imagine, the last year has been very difficult for Rodger. I don't think I need to elaborate on that point, but I will ask you to quickly imagine waking up tomorrow morning to find that the year is 2399. Needless to say, Rodger has had some trouble adjusting, and as a result, he's found himself at odds with local law enforcement more than once. In deference to Rodger's privacy, I won't go into the nature of the offenses in question. I would, however, like to commend the patience and understanding of Judge Morris Agnes, who took Rodger's extraordinary circumstances into consideration and sentenced him to community service rather than the jail time we'd expected. While Rodger has openly admitted to having a somewhat felonious past, Judge Morris ruled that, as no records from 1620 survive, his former transgression could not be held against him. In a further act of humanity, Judge Agnes agreed to our proposal that this blog be accepted as said community service. While he did point out that this arrangement was advantageous in that it would serve to keep Rodger from dealing directly with the public, I sensed his decision was also influenced by his genuine compassion.

Thank you for bearing with me. Now that we've got the background out of the way, here's how you can participate:

Quite simply, this is an advice column, and it functions just like thousands of other advice columns the world over.

1. Send an email detailing your question, problem or concern to askrodgergoodwyn@gmail.com. (I promised not to bore you with with scientific aims of this experiment earlier, but I will say here that the greater the breadth of subjects covered, the greater the opportunity for interesting and usable data. In other words, nothing's off limits.)

2. If your email is chosen, it will appear on this site along with Rodger's response. All emails, whether chosen to appear on the site or not, will be promptly deleted. Your email address will not be used in any way, shape or form.

3. Please include your first name and location in your email. If you wish to use a pseudonym, please provide one.

Again, thank you for your participation. We look forward to receiving your emails.