Swine Flu

Hey Rodger,

I'm worried about catching swine flu. I'm even more worried that my doctor is too incompetent to treat me if I do get it. I'm thinking about more natural remedies--or even ways to fight it off before I get infected. I know back in your day people were more savvy about herbal medicine. Any ideas?

Don't Wanna Get Sick


Dear Don't Wanna Get Sick,

'Tis a goodly and most germane inquiry. Many personages, both regal and peasantly, be much afeard of this swine pestilence. Thou be in possesion of much luck, however, for I be versed in matters medical and wast much sought after in the Virginia Colony as a layhealer and reader of nostrils.

Follow ye this recipe:

Take ye a handful of rue, and as much the same amount of common Wormwood, and bruise them a little.

Put ye them into a pot of Earth or Tin, with so much Vinegar as shall covereth the herbs.

Keep ye this pot close covered or stopped, and when thou dost fear any infection, dip into this Vinegar a piece of a sponge, and carry it in your hand and smell to it, or else put it into a round ball of Ivory or Juniper made full of holes of the one side, carrying it in your hand use to smell thereunto, renewing it once in a day.

If ye heed this counsel, thou shouldst be spared.

(MODERATOR'S NOTE: As best I can tell, this is an old recipe for curing the plague. Needless to say, it will NOT cure or prevent swine flu. If you have symptoms, seek professional medical advice immediately.)